Being a Woman

I wanted to talk today about what I think it means to be a woman. How it feels to be a woman. And, most importantly, how to accept yourself for who YOU are—your unique individuality.

There’s a reason we put so many expectations on ourselves. It’s ingrained in us. We’re taught to fit in, to follow a path, to meet certain standards. But that often leaves us feeling uncomfortable, unsure of who we actually are. We begin to label ourselves at “fat”, “skinny”, “rich”, “poor”, “successful”, “a failure” and that’s not okay.

Society teaches us that we must act a certain way. That the only way to be “successful” is to blend in. 

We as women are expected to be strong, but not too strong—because then we’re seen as insensitive or masculine. We’re expected to keep our bodies a certain way, but if we’re too lean then we look too muscular or we’re branded with a body imagine issue. If we’re holding a bit of body fat, we’re unhealthy and gross. We’re expected to be successful, but not too successful—otherwise, we’re intimidating. We’re supposed to be beautiful, but not too beautiful—because then other women might resent us, or we won’t be taken seriously.

As women, we experience a broader emotional spectrum than most men—not as a weakness, but as a biological fact. This makes us more emotionally aware and intelligent. It’s a superpower, yet too often, we’re dismissed as “crazy” when we express how we feel.

And then, on top of all of this, we have social media. We are constantly being fed highlight reels of other people’s seemingly perfect lives. We see endless images of women’s bodies, filtered and edited beyond reality. We are bombarded with advice, on what to wear, how to train, how to look, how to be. And in the process, we lose touch with our own instincts. We’re not even given the space to figure out who WE are.

But there is something so powerful in knowing yourself. In choosing your own path. In deciding how you want to show up in this world, on your terms.

I want to share my own experience with this—how I’ve learned to accept myself, and how I still face challenges and continue learning every day. My perspective is drawn from my own life and I have chosen to speak into how we can embrace individuality and accept our bodies and who we are. Harnessing this to our best ability. 

I never really “fit in” at school. I spent my lunch breaks drifting from one friendship group to another, trying to figure out where I belonged. Luckily, I had a strong role model in my mum. She always reassured me that being unique and different was my biggest power, and that worrying about what others thought was a waste of energy.

Of course, it took me years to truly believe that.

Like so many of us, I got sucked into the social media trap—comparing myself to other women, seeking approval in the wrong places. I was once told that I wasn’t as good as someone’s “Instagram crush” so I tried so hard to try and be just like them. But eventually, I realised something: my biggest power was me and it was actually exhausting trying to be and look like someone I wasn’t, I wasn’t truely happy..

I started learning about my body. I started figuring out what I valued. Who I actually was. And when you know yourself, when you truly own every part of who you are—your strengths, your insecurities, your quirks—you become bulletproof. No one can make you feel small, because you’ve already embraced every part of yourself. You can own your flaws and you can celebrate your qualities.

So to get there, I started making changes.

I unfollowed influencers who triggered my self-comparison—sometimes I was comparing myself without even realising it. I started asking myself tough questions: Why does seeing someone’s toned physique make me feel inadequate? 

Well, because I will never look exactly like that person. Our values, our sacrifices, our genetics—everything is different. They are them, and I am me. 

I would ask, why does this strangers opinion on me bother me? 

Do they hold weight in my life, would I go to them for advice? If I don’t value them as a friend, why do I value their opinion on me so much?

So, instead of chasing an ideal that was never meant for me, I built a life that I loved. Because this is my story. My narrative.

Everything we do, everything we believe about ourselves—it’s a choice. We choose what we consume, who we follow, how we judge ourselves. We choose who we become.

But too often, we don’t even realise the boxes we’ve put ourselves in. We don’t wear certain clothes, we avoid certain events, we hold ourselves back—all because of some unspoken “rule” about what is acceptable.

Even now, I still face challenges. After the recent Hyrox, I felt pressure—the pressure I put on myself—to perform and look a certain way. And I had to step back and ask: Why? Was it because I felt I should be performing like the Instagram influencers? Was it my frustration with the state of the fitness industry, where anyone can give out advice? Did I feel like I had to prove myself against them?

But then I remembered my values. I have never, and will never, be someone who takes themselves seriously 100% of the time, I don’t find that to be particularly fun. So I put all that aside on the day—I laughed and smiled the whole time. Because there was no way I was going to let a story I created in my own head bring me down.

That’s something else I’ve learned over time—there are some things you just can’t control. But I can always control myself and the way I think.

Sometimes I feel the frustrations of working within a male dominated industry. Because I am a woman, it is as though my opinion is not valued straight away from certain ages and demographics. But I cannot let this deter me, I do not have to prove myself to those with lesser minds. For their perception of me is a reflection of them and their own insecurities.

Every time I come up against conflicting emotions, I ask myself: Why do I feel this way? That’s why I advocate so strongly for spending time on your own—it truly allows you to figure out who you are, what feelings and emotions are coming up, and why.

I prioritise me when it’s appropriate. I know when to say no. I don’t go out of my way to people-please when I know it’s going to make me a worse version of myself. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is exactly what you want.

If that means cancelling on friends or events, true friends won’t make you feel bad about it. They should support your decision. Because remember: those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

I’ve learned one big thing about myself over the years—there are different versions of me, and that’s okay. There’s the 'coach' version of me, the educator, the performer. There’s my inner athlete, who trains hard, loves to laugh, and blasts the music. Then there’s my home self—calm, introverted, listening to classical music, happy to be alone with my thoughts. I have a creative side, an impatient side. I can be girly, but I also love running through a muddy forest. I have a slightly short fuse (I definitely know when I’m due on my period—leave a cupboard door open, and you’ll hear about it!). But I also know when to reflect and apologise if I’ve been unreasonable. All these versions of me make up who I am, and I love them all because I know them all so well.

At the end of the day, I am here to live my life, not the one society has written for me. I am here to be happy, to be strong, and to enjoy it. 

Because being a woman isn’t about fitting into someone else’s expectations. It’s not about being the right amount of strong, the right amount of beautiful, or the right amount of anything.

Being a woman is about owning who you are. It’s about embracing your power—your strength, your emotions, your individuality. It’s about choosing your own version of success, beauty, and happiness.

So, I want to leave you with this:

“What’s one expectation—whether from society, social media, or even yourself—that you’ve felt pressured by as a woman?”

“Have you ever had a moment where you realised you were holding yourself back because of what others might think? What did you do about it?”

“What’s one thing about yourself that you used to see as a flaw but have now embraced as part of your strength?”